THE REASONS WHY WE CAN’T

1:51 AM

Being single for 21 years doesn’t mean I haven’t experienced that kind of “butterflies in my stomach”. I did have some affairs, the first story started when I was in junior high school I like my senior, we both were basketball players, that’s why we got close easily and the story ended when he went to high school, he found someone new.
To be honest, most of the relationships I had almost ended up without explanation, I was the one who never gave the explanation, I know, I played the bad part back then. And now I want to write the latest one.

He is the closest good guy friend of mine, he is so caring, so kind and so supportive, I am very thankful that for these past 4 months, even though we’ve never met face to face for 3 years we talk via Line or iMessage, we kept in touch intensely from morning till midnight, sometimes he called me at night. We used to be like that too two years ago, so it's my second chance to fix everything.

He was there with me through all the bad and good things, when I was attacked virtually by haters and strangers on my social media, he was there when I lost my grandmother, he made me felt loved and important, he was there when I felt stressed with my undergraduate thesis, I thought I had a person to rely on when I was down. Not only in bad times, he also was there whenever the good things came to my life. I would never forget the good deeds he’s done to me, the feeling he has on me.

I hurt his feeling so badly, he must be disappointed and annoyed by me. Though it hurts, that day I bravely told him that our relationship would never work out in the end so I want to end our intense conversations. I know, I sound so mean. I feel like the meanest person to him.
1. I never mean to come into your life for leaving you alone in the end. I was trying to fix the biggest mistake happened 2 years ago which is we act like strangers, that’s why I gave you signals because I want to befriend with you again. I am not leaving, I just want to stop the thing that could never work out before we get hurt too far before we get too deep, cause it only brings painful memories in the end.
I have to let go the past that hurts and I want you to stay positive, move on with your life and hope you know this ain't easy for me as well.

2. I am not sure you are ready to be in serious and responsible relationship. We are adults now, as we grow up, our priorities change. I can’t be in the relationship just for fun or just because I need attention and love from the man I’m with, it’s unhealthy relationship. I am 21 year-old girl who seek a relationship that is real, serious and totally mine. And we both know we can’t be in that way. I want to stop hurting other’s feeling though I was mean to you. Sorry. It’s a goodbye after our frequent conversations also the repetition of broken hearts.
 3. I’m little scared, I’m sorry. I can’t find a purpose in these foolish feelings. You are one of the closest man I am comfortable with but I can’t lie to people who I love the most, my parents and my best friends. The fact I am going to live together with my parents again is one of the reasons why we should end it now because it means we couldn’t talk as frequent as we used to and my parents would not give the permission if they know because we are just different.

4. Just because it ends doesn’t mean it never should’ve been. I am not giving you false hope. I am really sorry if you think like that. I never thought to fall in love because I know the reality, I just think I must stop continuing the “affair” with the person I can’t get. No more late night conversation or chessy good morning messages, etc :)
You gave me attentions, so I gave the feedback, you really care about me, so do I.
We can’t go far anymore, acting like lovers but the truth we are not. One thing I need you to know, I never meant to hurt you. I wish you don’t play the victim and create your own assumptions before knowing the reasons. There are several stops where you can't force what you want because not every person thinks the way you think, and not every occurrence works in the way we expect them to. Some events are just simply unpredictable and when it happens, it happens for certain reason.
5. I just need more personal space for each other. Life is filled with opportunities to choose between making a big deal out of something or simply letting it go. Even I have to say, I was being so natural to be independent as I like to be along.
We still friends. You can text me or call me whenever you need someone to talk to, because I am your friend. If you’re wondering why I said this time, I had a long thinking time how to stop it. It's the kinda ending you don't really want to see. Never wanted this, never want to see you hurt and the truth nothing we say is going to save us from the fall out. It's not about losing hopes or being negative at all. This thing is made for us to change.
______________________________________________________

No matter what the situation is – broken heart, boring life, unhealthy relationship or unrequited love. Our stories existed to be valued. You'll accept that and you'll survive. I always pray the best for your life.

It’s just a matter of finding the person who’s worth getting it broken for.
There is always someone better out there for us and they will find us in the right time. Just be patient :)

“Sometimes the people we want as part of our stories are only meant to be a chapter”
Stop talking about the blurred feeling.
In terms of fashion and to describe the weather in Manado lately, this is my favorite OOTD so far, dresses and outwears are my favorite items this season. And this Tresa Shop's kimono outer is my new love. I totally love it. I think I will wear this kimono outer again tomorrow since kimonos are must have items for this season. I've been wanting to have one for such a long time, thanks to Tresa Shop who has sent me this beautiful kimono outer <3

| TRESA SHOP (sponsored) kimono outer / TOMKINS sneaker wedges / AVENUE floral dress / ADIDAS watch |
The infamous Blue Carpet in town.


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If you check their Instagram account @tresashop you'll see their awesome collections.
I couldn't help but stare all of Tresa Shop newest collections, because I want to have them all now. I bet you want to.


SOMETHING REAL SERIOUS

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16 COMMENTS

  1. You look so cute !
    xo,

    elegantetpuissant.blogspot.pt

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love this outfit, I especially love the sneakers. xoxo

    http://terramcd.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  3. OMG! i can feel the sensation of "butterfly on my stomach" <3

    X.O.X.O

    Indah l Live Indah's Life

    ReplyDelete
  4. Girl, I think you have a lot of maturity to end such a relationship. Cewek kan emang suka diperhatiin sampe-sampe nggak nyadar kalau the other end of the line might asks for more than that. Doing this you're saving him and yourself a bigger heart break in the long run. So, kudos! Well done. I might not have the same strength if i were in your position.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I feel youuu~
    I'm already being single for 22 years and I think I've done so many mean things to them TvT Still, I think it's better than I give them false hope, hehe.
    Love your outfit btw! That kimono outer is adorable! <3

    http://japobsganbare.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  6. love that blue carpet, the tone is outstanding. and also that corn field background. it match perfectly with your outfit.

    love,
    AYU ADIRAS - Fashion Beauty Blogger
    NEW POST : Sparkling White

    ReplyDelete
  7. Great post, I really like your blog and I think that you are awesome blogger. Good luck in future! :* If you want look my blog and if you like it, follow me. Thanks <3 http://fdiarybyz.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  8. I hope you feel better Lyv.... *huggggg*
    can't wait to finally meet you in person!!

    xoxo,
    Beauty Appetite

    ReplyDelete
  9. you are still so young dear, you'll definitely find someone amazing :) I can't believe people would even hate you, you are the sweeting girl ever!
    www.samanthamariko.com

    ReplyDelete
  10. I totally love your style, you can mix and match everything.
    Alice Cerea,
    BABYWHATSUP.COM

    ReplyDelete
  11. love your ootd! and ur ankle sneakers! i need them!
    xoxo
    The Girl with the Muji Hat

    ReplyDelete
  12. Me too! Feeling the same thing :) To start a thing called 'relationship' needs a courage. It's okay if you feel blue sometimes, it doesn't mean you are the meanest girl in the world. A man who really loves you will wait until you're ready. I'm sure he will be able to discuss everything with you when he thinks the time is right. Good luck for your love story, XOXO

    ReplyDelete
  13. Such true words and lovely photos

    Krissie x - http://pearlsofstyle.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  14. I feel you, but its better to end it rather than feeling sad and hurtful in a long-run right? ^^ and btw, i love your kimono!

    www.vaniairenehuang.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

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