THE REASONS WHY WE CAN’T
1:51 AM
Being single for 21 years doesn’t mean I haven’t experienced that kind of “butterflies in my stomach”. I did have some affairs, the first story started when I was in junior high school I like my senior, we both were basketball players, that’s why we got close easily and the story ended when he went to high school, he found someone new.
To be honest, most of the relationships I had almost ended up without explanation, I was the one who never gave the explanation, I know, I played the bad part back then. And now I want to write the latest one.
He is the closest good guy
friend of mine, he is so caring, so kind and so supportive, I am very thankful
that for these past 4 months, even though we’ve never met face to face for 3
years we talk via Line or iMessage, we kept in touch intensely from morning
till midnight, sometimes he called me at night. We used to be like that too two years ago, so it's my second chance to fix everything.
He was there with me through
all the bad and good things, when I was attacked virtually by haters and
strangers on my social media, he was there when I lost my grandmother, he made
me felt loved and important, he was there when I felt stressed with my undergraduate
thesis, I thought I had a person to rely on
when I was down. Not only in bad times, he also was there whenever
the good things came to my life. I would never forget the good deeds he’s done
to me, the feeling he has on me.
I hurt his feeling so badly,
he must be disappointed and annoyed by me. Though it hurts, that day I bravely told him that our
relationship would never work out in the end so I want to end our intense conversations. I know, I sound so mean. I
feel like the meanest person to him.
1. I never mean to come into your life for leaving you alone in the end. I
was trying to fix the biggest mistake happened 2 years ago which is we act like
strangers, that’s why I gave you signals because I want to befriend with you
again. I am not
leaving, I just want to stop the thing that could never work out before we get hurt too far before we get too deep, cause it only
brings painful memories in the end.
I have to let go the past that hurts and I want you to stay positive, move on with your life and hope you know this ain't easy for me as well.
I have to let go the past that hurts and I want you to stay positive, move on with your life and hope you know this ain't easy for me as well.
2. I am not sure you are ready to be in serious and responsible
relationship. We are adults now, as we grow up, our priorities change. I
can’t be in the relationship just for fun or just because I need attention and
love from the man I’m with, it’s unhealthy relationship. I am 21 year-old girl who
seek a relationship that is real, serious and totally mine. And we both know we
can’t be in that way. I want to stop hurting other’s feeling though I was mean
to you. Sorry. It’s a goodbye after our
frequent conversations also the repetition of
broken hearts.
3. I’m little
scared, I’m sorry. I can’t find a
purpose in these foolish feelings. You are
one of the closest man I am comfortable with but I can’t lie to people who I
love the most, my parents and my best friends. The fact I am going to live
together with my parents again is one of the reasons why we should end it now
because it means we couldn’t talk as frequent as we used to and my parents
would not give the permission if they know because we are just different.
4. Just because it ends doesn’t mean it never should’ve been. I am not giving you false hope. I am really sorry if you think like that. I never thought to fall in love because I know the reality, I just think I must stop continuing the “affair” with the person I can’t get. No more late night conversation or chessy good morning messages, etc :)
4. Just because it ends doesn’t mean it never should’ve been. I am not giving you false hope. I am really sorry if you think like that. I never thought to fall in love because I know the reality, I just think I must stop continuing the “affair” with the person I can’t get. No more late night conversation or chessy good morning messages, etc :)
You gave me attentions, so I
gave the feedback, you really care about me, so do I.
We can’t go far anymore,
acting like lovers but the truth we are not. One thing I need you to know, I
never meant to hurt you. I wish you don’t play the victim and create your own
assumptions before knowing the reasons. There are several stops where you can't
force what you want because not every person thinks the way you think, and not
every occurrence works in the way we expect them to. Some events are just
simply unpredictable and when it happens, it happens for certain reason.
5. I just need more personal space for each other. Life is filled with opportunities to choose between
making a big deal out of something or simply letting it go. Even I have to say, I was being so natural to be
independent as I like to be along.
We still friends. You can
text me or call me whenever you need someone to talk to, because I am your
friend. If you’re wondering why I said this time, I had a long thinking time how
to stop it. It's the kinda ending you don't really want to see. Never
wanted this, never want to see you hurt and the truth nothing we say is going to save us from the fall out. It's not
about losing hopes or being negative at all. This thing is made for us to
change.
______________________________________________________
No matter what the situation is – broken heart, boring life,
unhealthy relationship or unrequited love. Our stories existed to be valued.
You'll accept that and you'll survive. I always pray the best for your life.
It’s just a matter of finding the person who’s worth getting it broken for.
There is always someone better out there for us and they will find us in the right time. Just be patient :)
“Sometimes the people we want as part of our stories are only meant to be a chapter”
It’s just a matter of finding the person who’s worth getting it broken for.
There is always someone better out there for us and they will find us in the right time. Just be patient :)
“Sometimes the people we want as part of our stories are only meant to be a chapter”
Stop talking about the blurred feeling.
In terms of fashion and to describe the weather in Manado lately, this is my favorite OOTD so far, dresses and outwears are my favorite items this season. And this Tresa Shop's kimono outer is my new love. I totally love it. I think I will wear this kimono outer again tomorrow since kimonos are must have items for this season. I've been wanting to have one for such a long time, thanks to Tresa Shop who has sent me this beautiful kimono outer <3
In terms of fashion and to describe the weather in Manado lately, this is my favorite OOTD so far, dresses and outwears are my favorite items this season. And this Tresa Shop's kimono outer is my new love. I totally love it. I think I will wear this kimono outer again tomorrow since kimonos are must have items for this season. I've been wanting to have one for such a long time, thanks to Tresa Shop who has sent me this beautiful kimono outer <3
| TRESA SHOP (sponsored) kimono outer / TOMKINS sneaker wedges / AVENUE floral dress / ADIDAS watch |
The infamous Blue Carpet in town.
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15 COMMENTS
You look so cute !
ReplyDeletexo,
elegantetpuissant.blogspot.pt
Love this outfit, I especially love the sneakers. xoxo
ReplyDeletehttp://terramcd.blogspot.com
I love so much your pictures and your style my dear!
ReplyDeleteIMPOSSIBILE FERMARE I BATTITI //PAGINA FB
love ur outer..
ReplyDeletelove the view as well..
Regards,
Aa
OMG! i can feel the sensation of "butterfly on my stomach" <3
ReplyDeleteX.O.X.O
Indah l Live Indah's Life
Girl, I think you have a lot of maturity to end such a relationship. Cewek kan emang suka diperhatiin sampe-sampe nggak nyadar kalau the other end of the line might asks for more than that. Doing this you're saving him and yourself a bigger heart break in the long run. So, kudos! Well done. I might not have the same strength if i were in your position.
ReplyDeleteI feel youuu~
ReplyDeleteI'm already being single for 22 years and I think I've done so many mean things to them TvT Still, I think it's better than I give them false hope, hehe.
Love your outfit btw! That kimono outer is adorable! <3
http://japobsganbare.blogspot.com/
love that blue carpet, the tone is outstanding. and also that corn field background. it match perfectly with your outfit.
ReplyDeletelove,
AYU ADIRAS - Fashion Beauty Blogger
NEW POST : Sparkling White
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ReplyDeleteI hope you feel better Lyv.... *huggggg*
ReplyDeletecan't wait to finally meet you in person!!
xoxo,
Beauty Appetite
you are still so young dear, you'll definitely find someone amazing :) I can't believe people would even hate you, you are the sweeting girl ever!
ReplyDeletewww.samanthamariko.com
love your ootd! and ur ankle sneakers! i need them!
ReplyDeletexoxo
The Girl with the Muji Hat
Me too! Feeling the same thing :) To start a thing called 'relationship' needs a courage. It's okay if you feel blue sometimes, it doesn't mean you are the meanest girl in the world. A man who really loves you will wait until you're ready. I'm sure he will be able to discuss everything with you when he thinks the time is right. Good luck for your love story, XOXO
ReplyDeleteSuch true words and lovely photos
ReplyDeleteKrissie x - http://pearlsofstyle.blogspot.com
I feel you, but its better to end it rather than feeling sad and hurtful in a long-run right? ^^ and btw, i love your kimono!
ReplyDeletewww.vaniairenehuang.blogspot.com