HIDING THE HEART

9:07 PM

It’s been a tough month, February but there is always a room for growth. This year, as in January until now (nevertheless the length of time) I've learned so many things about love ever since. I've learned that in order to love myself, I must behave in my own ways for the sake of my own self, not for someone else out there. I should focus on loving myself, instead of loving the idea of other people loving me. I've learned that it's okay to follow my heart but I should take my brain along the journey.

Now I am starting to found out the reason of my existence and I am not going to settle for anyone who doesn't completely agree with it. I've learned to let go the people who don't give me closure. I deserve someone who will express their feelings with all honesty. They said we accept the love we think we deserve. I couldn't agree more with it. Rather than dating someone who treats me with less respect, kindness or empathy, I'd be happier single.

If you’re now nursing your heartache from breakups or maybe unrequited love, I am about to relate my personal story to you, been there too. Being alone is fine. I truly felt that way. I felt motivated to achieve all my personal goals and you know what, since 2016 my top 5 Whatsapp chats/Line chats have been my closest girlfriends, foodies, co-workers, clients/influencers & family. I wasn’t fazed by the fact that I didn’t have someone special who would care if I got home safe or if I had the worst day ever, I do have some caring men around me but we all are just friends (the relationship I had completely ended two years ago and I felt like I didn’t actually see a point in being attached at all as I am happy being busy to be the better and grown up woman). There’s more to life than being in a relationship. I should focus my energy on other things in life.

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Don’t look for love, let love find you. That’s why it’s called falling in love, you don’t force yourself to fall, you just do. But right now, to find love again became the last priority to me, though the truth it is the slowest process ever. The insecurities and all the stories of past loves were not nursed completely (even they weren’t present any longer). I wish when I finally find love again, it could miraculously do its magic again. But right now, I am just going to focus on building up my character as a better individual. When the time is right (in God’s plan), sure love will knock gently on the door.